Weight Loss Journey: Day One

For the past few days I have been doing some heavy thinking about my body, self, mind, and spirit. My drive has been zilch lately and I need to get back on track. I am tired of feeling like the fat girl that no one wants.

my husband keeps telling me he doesn't see me this way but I am a point now where I am disgusted with myself. I hate my body and it's up to me change it.

I did some research last night and found a website with 6 starter questions to make your in right mindset and I really enjoyed these questions.

What's My Motivation?

I am sick of resenting of my body and feeling undesirable. J doesn't believe me when I tell him I want to lost weight because I always bail out the first week. I never stick with it. I have started to notice more dark spots appearing on my body like my family started to notice when they were diagnosed with Diabetes. I feel unactractive like he doesn't desire me even though he has made it clear he doesnt feel like this. I do not like waking up every morning dreading it. I want to feel beautiful, healthy, and happy. It is up to me.

Is This The Right Time?

For me, absolutely. I have spent way too long complaining and not long enough fighting for results. My depression doesn't seem as heavy although I have my days where it does get me but I am learning to cope with that and work with it. For the most part things with my marriage are settling down and I have some hope that we are serious this time. I understand I have an eating disorder but it doesn't have to control me any longer. When I feel the need to binge I will either blog or excerise to avoid binging. 

Am I Setting Realistic Goals?

My goals are realistic because I understand this isn't a quick fix. It is a process towards a healthier life. I am not going on any crazy fad diets. I am working more on moderation; a few chips, not the whole bag. I understand that I have to do this for me and it won't happen overnight.

What Actions Will I Take?

1) Using My Fitness Pal I will count my calories, every meal. Not just the ones that are low calories. I have to be honest with myself or this process will flop before it's begun.

2) When I feel the need to binge, workout or blog.

3) No relying on someone else. Mom is aiding me in my journey but I cannot depend on her to work out in order for me to. It is up to me to stay motivated and continue to push through.

4) Develop a household routine because this is a lifestyle change. Being a slob will only hurt my journey.

5) Hard Rule: No sweets or soda.

I hear you already, you cannot cut yourself completely from things you crave. Just eat it in moderation. 

When it comes to these two they are my make or break. I have to just leave this behind no matter how much I may crave. I am going to start substituting fresh fruit instead of the candy and water instead of the soda.

What Are My Road Blocks?

1) Laziness

2) Excuses

3) Sweets

4) Stress Eating

How Will I Mark My Progress?

1) Journal everything even non-scale victories.

2) Blog about my journey as a well to be held accountable.

3) Stick to my plan

4) Participate in Weigh-In Wednesdays blog hop..

Starting Stats

Age: 21

Height: 5'1

Weight: 217 lbs

BMI: 41 (Morbidly Obese)

Ideal Weight: 101-127

Daily Calorie Allowance: 1860 

(This doesn't mean I am going eat that many every day)