Health Update

Well, I'm still in limbo as far as what is going on with me. The cramps are come and go painful, sometimes worse than others. I started bleeding a little bit heavier and called the nurse yesterday morning. They had talked to the other clinic and it's possible that I have tumors on my uterus and it's what causing my pregnancy symptoms. The nausea is ridiculous, I am having trouble eating just because everything makes me sick to my stomach. So now we're up to pregnancy, miscarriage, or tumors. I am scared and thankful that Daddy is going with me Tuesday. I don't know how Tuesday will go because Daddy will have to bounce from room to room because K has her appointment as well. He told me that he will be there for me regardless because he wants to know what's wrong and now that we're possibly looking at surgery it's extremely crucial to have him by my side.

I am happy the despite my small blow-up the other day Daddy is still putting distance and we are still going strong. I have taken time to mellow out and Daddy is right that I need to stay off her blog because it's only creating problems with us because she only posts to hurt me. Daddy needs me to be strong for our family and I plan to do just that. Once I know what is going on I am going on a super secret mission to workout and lost weight without mentioning it to Daddy. I know that Daddy wants me healthy and if I get smaller not only will I have the self-satisfaction of feeling better about myself but I will also be able to do more with Daddy other than what we do now. Daddy will be more proud than ever to have me by his side to hold and love.

Daddy is right about something though, I do have moments where I let people get into my head and cause me to doubt our relationship which is exactly what they are trying to do. I plan to ignore the drama and focus on my family. As I told Daddy, if he doesn't want me then just say so but nothing has been said. Daddy loves me and we are stronger than ever. It's high time people understand that they are on their way out and only have themselves to blame.

I am hoping to get my hands on Dolvett Quince's 3-1-2-1 lifestyle plan because it feels the most realistic to me. I read a small sample of it last night and was really impressed with what Dolvett had to say.

Tonight is going to be fun as Grandma is getting pumpkins to carve and I couldn't be more excited. Ally and I will be cleaning out the guts and while Daddy and Ally carve, I will be roasting pumpkin seeds. Then next Friday, Daddy and I will be taking off to go to Fort Worth with Grandma and Uncle R to take Ally out to go Trick or Treating. She is so stoked to be a pirate. It's moments like these that remind me why I am defensive over my family. I wish January would hurry up and get here so Daddy and I can get our game plan in motion and get away from here and the drama. We are so excited that the abandonment will be off our record so we will be free to look at apartments. Daddy and I aren't sure yet what we are doing about work because he has a bad back and I'm not going to hound him to look for work that will only hurt him worse. I love my family and I am looking towards the future. Now we just have to make it past Tuesday.  I hope that everything is okay and we don't have to resort to surgery at this time.

Looking forward to a relaxed, drama free night. Just me and my beautiful family spending time together then hopefully some more WOW with Daddy. :)