Exercise: Send out an apology email for the Garcina Cambogia and get back in on it tomorrow. When I wake up I am to go pee, grab a bottle of water, and do at least 3 miles minimum on Walk Away The Pounds. I will search through Pinterest and find exercise challenges to do and post progress here. All food will be accurately measured and calories will be counted. I will drink only water and the occasional alcoholic drink. No sodas. Period. I will not mindlessly eat. I have a journal and I will dedicate a section of it for my thoughts and upsets. I will break up my exercise challenges for morning and evening. Unless it is too cold, every evening Ally will be taken outside and I will walk the driveway until it's time to come in. I will not be eating on large plates, only on the smaller ones as a way to downsize my portions. I am going to start dedicating time to breakfast, lunch, and dinner with small snacks in between. My only splurge will be my coffee which will not be measure and the creamer only has 5g of sugar so it's enough to help with my sweet craving.
Recipes: I will continue to bake and cook dinners. Just because my journey is shifting doesn't mean I need to stop baking as it is a new passion that I adore. I will post an updated list of the recipes I have succesfully completed as a separate page on my blog so everyone else can see what I am up to.
Reviewing: Since Daddy isn't up during the day, I will dedicate my mornings to Ally and reading. If the book is less than 50 pages then it will be reviewed that day. Books less than 100 will be reviewed in 2-3 days. Anything larger may take up to a week. I will also post a public apology to the authors for my lack of reviews lately.
Housework: I will take a highlighter and go through the weekly chore list and mark a letter F by the chores I will be held accountable for. Mom has been sweet to help pick up my slack and while this is her house, it shouldn't be on her shoulders to clean after two households. I know this is a large part of the tension between us because I know I haven't been being productive and it's disappointing because she had recently told me she was proud of me. I need to be proud of myself. I can't keep depending on everyone else to help me be successful in my journey. At the end of the day this is my journey and it's up to me to succeed. I will do my chores after my morning exercises so they are out of the way for the day.
My Family Unit (Ally, Daddy, and I): Daddy and I have been doing so much better. We are stronger than ever and I cannot be more thankful. I need to get off my ass and get shit done before he does say something about it. I also need to stop letting Ally just make messes everywhere and wait until the end of the night to clean them up. I am her mother and it's time I start leading by example. Our room will be cleaned daily and vacuumed weekly.
Cross Stitch: Right now, this passion isn't calling to me but when time allows I want to try to do some small projects. I am facing burn-out and I cannot afford to do that so I am being careful to tread lightly as I figure out where my priorities lie.
Writing: I love to write but realize as of now, I will not be publishing. Due to a shared computer it's hard to write when inspiration calls and I know I could use a journal but I write easier when the words can just flow. I have some writing challenges I am doing and will continue to write pieces for my pleasure but I will not be publishing as of now.
Spirituality: I am still deciding what path I am taking. I need to spend some time with incense and my cards to help seek clarity in the decisions I am making. I have learned that I can rely on my cards and that they are my clearest form of guidance for the things I cannot voice to Mom. I also have realized that sometimes I push her in the middle of stuff between Daddy and I. That is going to stop because Daddy is right, it is our marriage and while I can go to her when I am upset I have to realize that she can only do much and a person can only hear a sob story so much before they get sick of it. I am not assuming this is how she feels, but this is how I feel I am coming off. I am thankful for the Tarot deck she bought me because it does help me wean off of depending on her so much. My lack of friends leads me to do this often and I don't always realize it. My mother in-law though has become one of my best friends and we have both worked out asses off to get where we are today. I don't like that she feels I am back to treating her how I did before. I will also dedicate time to reading something spiritual from my kindle during the day and taking notes on it.
Time With Daddy: If Mom doesn't care then in the evenings I will spend time with Daddy on WoW only after Ally is taken care of and my chores are done. I am allowing myself too much time to play and not enough time to get things done. I could easily get my chores done before Daddy wakes up for the day and not have to stress anymore. I am going to definitely have an accountability log for myself to keep track of what I am doing.
Kindle: I will read and review at least 5 children's books a day. I have a huge collection of them on my kindle and need to start decluttering them to figure out which ones I want for Ally.
Overall, I know that I am setting myself hard limits but this is the only way I can wean off of other people. It is no one's responsibility but mine to succeed and lead a strong journey. While I don't say it out loud, my actions show a huge I can't attitude. I have always depended on other people to make me get things done but I know they can't. It is up to me and only me.
