Reassurance :)

Daddy and I did a lot of talking late last night and I am stoked about the possibilities the future is holding for us. I have gotten back into the swing of my weight loss because Daddy and I talked and if  I can get back to my pre-birth weight and we can get away from here before I'm 30 then we are going to try for one more baby. I am very excited but also very nervous because when I delivered Ally we almost lost both her and myself. It was the only time anyone has seen Daddy cry. The thought of another cesarean section makes me cringe but hearing that beautiful cry will be worth it. We have had a rough road and faced some terrible trials but for once I can breathe and not stress. He has told me some news that has really helped to ease my mind. We are stronger than ever right now. I get to play WOW with him, I get to take care of him by getting him food, drink, smokes, back scratches and anything else he wants. Physically we are stronger too. We have both had the craving to be close to each other. It's so nice to feel him crawl up behind me after he has decided to go to bed. This is one small comfort that never gets old for me. I love the feel of him coming up behind me and holding me close. It's something I crave and I've learned that is something he also enjoys. We have cleared up the emotional mess and now our lives are stronger. We are both no longer letting other people influence our marriage. This is our journey and our future. It isn't perfect and we've had some curve balls but come January 13th, we will be married three years and I am so excited. If we aren't playing WOW then we are laying on the couch together. I have been craving this part of him and as he drifts farther away from the drama it gives me reassurance I can lean on him with ease. I truly believe this time I have my husband back. I no longer have to stress what he's doing because I know he isn't doing anything. He is just with me and only with me. My favorite moments other than WOW would have to be our weekly date night watching Sons Of Anarchy. Next weeks date night will be super special because it falls on my birthday. This is something I truly crave. I also brought up a real concern to him last night and this is something that I wouldn't have done before. I told him how I worried that because she calls him Daddy that it doesn't have the same strength it used to before she decided to stomp her ass in and start using it. He told me that's not the case, if it didn't have meaning then he wouldn't have me call him Daddy. For the first time since we lived in Fort Worth I feel strong and secure. I don't get jealous when he leaves the house to spend time with her anymore. I know that Daddy isn't doing anything and he is just spending time, nothing more. For the first time in a very long time, I think our fresh start is real and he isn't just telling me what I want to hear anymore. We have a beautiful family and I can't wait to see about adding to it in the future.