I feel so restless and I thought a vent session with my friend would help but I still feel just as lost. I spent the majority of the day with Ally spending time with her. A comment was made tonight that she wanted me to spend time with her because I don't spend enough. Ally is independent to be begin and I have never intentionally ignored it. Lately it's felt like war zone central over here and I don't know what I am doing wrong. I am trying to stay out of everyone's way, not talk much, and just focus on my family. I feel lost lately because I am trying so hard to improve but I feel the knock back at every turn. I used to journal personally but that felt like a bitch fit so I turned to blogging because it helps to motivate me to be more positive. Daddy is gone for the night and I am happy that he treated me even though I don't feel like I deserve it. I need to step back and listen rather than speak. I just wish someone would tell me what the hell has caused all the tension lately. I am hoping that Daddy will let me cling to him tomorrow because I am feeling needy for him. I need to feel him close to me. I have to admit to him how I am feeling and see if he can give me ideas to help.
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